Representin from the Upper West / Money making puttin me to the test

Friday, December 31, 2004

Bush Fan of the Year

Thanks to everyone who voted, but there's no clear winner since no two people voted for the same fan.

Daniel voted for #53, Rebecca for #51, Evan for #4 (noting the unabomber beard and what appears to be soiled undies by his feet), and others were particularly horrified by #42, #44, #46, #24, #19, #16, #15, #12, #9, #6, and #3.

Bush Fans!


Every day during finals I'll post pictures from my favorite Pro-Bush website, YoureWelcomeEverybody.com ! (the anti-sorryeverybody.com)

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Bush Fan #58


Yeah, I'm galled also.

Bush Fan #57


PWNED dude! Throw up the horns: G-dub is fuckin' metal!

Bush Fan #56


No, you look gay.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Bush Fan #55


When hippies go bad #2.

Bush Fan #54


Who says there are no fat skinheads in New York?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Bush Fan #53


A+ :
- The 'your' error rate holds steady at 100%.
- You may remember me from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
- The secret of my beautiful roses? The decaying corpses in my yard.

Bush fans are illiterate creepy morons; is that why they like W.?

Monday, December 20, 2004

Bush Fan #52


Look, it's Pocafatass.. celebrating redneck values by dressing up like an Indian?

Bush Fan #51


He bought a shirt that says I LOVE HALLIBURTON? Seriously?

Update 12/22: Halliburton Co. said seven of its workers were among the 22 killed in the suicide attack on the mess hall that was already attacked 30 times before. Oh yeah, a sturdier structure designed to replace the mess was being built at the base, but wasn't completed in time. KBR, a subsidiary of Halliburton, was supposed to have finished already, but they've been plauged by delays. Good job again, Halliburton.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Bush Fan #50


Nothing to apologize for here, it's not my fault I was born ugly! (but being fat is your fault, now that I think about it)

Anyway, THIS is what I want for Christmas!
How fucking dope is that shirt? I'd be the coolest hipster in Manhattan! You cannot expect me to believe that there are actually people in Alabama that would wear that shit sincerely - I bet every person that buys that shirt gets it as a gag gift or wears it ironically.

Please, crazy internet fans, buy me that for Xmas and I'll give you my "Lick Bush in 2004" shirt in return.

Imagine you pick up a girl, things are going really well, and when you unzip her pants you find THIS! What would you do? Would that really freak you out? Would you be able to get it up while looking at the smirking chimp wearing Santa's hat and grinning like a retard?

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Bush Fan #49


B-
I was going to make a joke about what he does with that cut-out, but that would be juvenile.

Bush Fan #48


I got nothing to say. I dunno, C+?
But hey, wasn't this week's South Park Christmas Special awesome?

Bush Fan #47


Pros: Cool sideburns, sunglasses, vest, and gun.

Cons: Half of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq might still be alive if only our troops had been properly equipped. Also, while the original war plan estimated that we'd have 50,000 troops in Iraq by the end of 2003, the White House is now pushing troop levels to 150,000.

D-.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Bush Fan Bonus


The Bush White House is mentally "challanged".

Bush Fan #46


Oh Jesus. "Your fellow liberal, Osama Bin Laden."
Yup, good old UBL, just another politically correct, metrosexual, blue state, tax and spend, touchy feely, peacenik, gay-marriage-supporting, godless liberal.

Do these people know what the word liberal fucking means?
Bush Fans:
Look at the FUCKING PICTURE! HE'S A VIOLENT HATE-FILLED RELIGIOUS NUTCASE POSING IN CAMO WITH A GUN!
Who does that remind you of?
Oh yeah - JUST ABOUT EVERY BUSH FAN I'VE POSTED!

And of course he loves how great Bush has been for al quaeda. He ain't going to be short on martyrs anytime soon.

Bush Fan #45


I am NOT sorry for thinking with my stomach!
C for making me stoop to another fat joke.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Bush Fan #44


Cheney throwing a hand grenade! Bush heroically leading our troops to victory!
You've got to be fucking kidding me; I've seen more combat than those pussies just by playing Halo 2.
A+.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Bush Fan #43


C-.
WTF. A chubby dork with queer emo glasses that can barely grow a mustache, from hipster-central Austin TX, is telling me to grow some balls?
Poland? Spain? WTF??

Bush Fan #42


Ok..you tell me...when you use your printer not to print but to prop up a hand-written note and then take a picture of that with your digital camera... is that clever irony? A+.

...no, it's just another example of absolute stupidity, like voting for Bush or, say, speaking for the thousands of 9/11 dead and claiming they're happy Bush is in office. That's not funny-retarded like Corky, that's offensive-retarded like George W. Bush. I guess here I should argue that NYC is about as anti-Bush as you can get, that the 9/11 widows have to fight the Bush administration tooth and nail to get them to allow any 9/11 investigation or release any of their findings*, or that Bush let 9/11 happen in the first place. What's the use. Fuck it. F.
*
Why did both Bush and Cheney ask Tom Daschle to restrict investigation into the attacks? Why did they both refuse to testify to the 9-11 Omission under oath?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Bush Fan #41


Another gun guy with a macintosh? He's WEARING AN APPLE SHIRT! Are Mac users gun-toting Bush fans? This gives a whole new meaning to 'think different'. Bonus: is that a law book?

Bush Fan #40


Guns... check. Prissy little Mac... check.
How weird is that?

F. Couldn't you put the slightest bit of effort into the photo of your arsenal? I mean, don't just throw them in a heap, your guns deserve better than that. Organization is key for any well-regulated militia.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Bush Fan #39


"FUCK France!"
"Dude! Swearing's not very Christian of you!"
"Sorry guys, my bad - F FRANCE!"
"That's better, now take your shirt off and lets wrestle!"

Bush Fan #38


I'm not sorry, but I am fat.
B for being jolly.

Bush Fan #37


It's true
Lesbians love Bush!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Bush Fan #36


"Almost time to play.... Cowboys & Liberals!"
Dog, gun, pickup, cowboy hat....
A.

Bush Fan #35


Oh no... who gave mid-life-crisis guy a gat?

Bush Fan #34


I was once a big man on campus, now I'm a middle-aged douchebag.
C.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Bush Fan #33


"Hey Dan, you're the darkest and most swarthy of our friends, why don't we dress you up like Osama Bin Laden, put a Kerry-Edwards sticker on your turban, and post it on the internets!"
"Sure, why not?"
F.

Bush Fan #32


Prom Queens 4 Bush. D.

Bush Fan #31


I'm not sure how to grade this kid because I can't tell if he's a real cowboy, or a fake one like his president. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and a B. He gets extra points for having a sweet compound bow on his wall instead of the usual gun. And he's doing a Lynndie!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Bush Fan #30


A.
I know that 'creepy guy proudly shows off his guns' is the most tedious and common genre of Bush Fan Pictures, but this guy makes the grade because he looks like he could be your lawyer or accountant. I mean, how many of the gun lovers on this site do you think know how to tie a tie? And this guy also knows how to use photoshop - look at how weird and haunting his picture is.
*Bonus Points: I think he's wearing a flag tie. Also, valley girl use of 'SO'.

Bush Fan #29


yawn... gun jerk #13. C-.

Bush Fan #28


B+
What could this guy possibly do to look like more of an asshole?

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Bush Fan #27


Yawn. Just another close-minded authoritarian grown-up grade-school bully with an inferiority complex. D.

Bush Fan #26


Shotgun boy 2
B-
He gets points for looking more like the kind of guy who'll drag you behind his pickup than number 1 does, but he loses points for lack of originality. Bonus for the (perhaps unintentional) allusion to Army of Darkness ("boomstick") and for the '4 More Years' 'engraved' on his 'boomstick'.

Bush Fan #25


Shotgun boy 1.

I give him an F. He doesn't look that tough to me with his little flashlight-holder thing. Or maybe I'm not being objective, because I just visited http://fallujapictures.blogspot.com/ and he just doesn't look tough compared to the real soldiers in those pictures. Or maybe i'm just in a bad mood after checking out that slightly different political photo blog.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Bush Fan #24


Ewwww... looks like that older step-brother of your best friend in middle school who would listen to Poison on his walkman and try to sit on you and fart but sometimes would let you sip some of the beer he'd sneak from the fridge or take a peek at the Playboys he kept under his bed.

80's haircut + 80's headphones + 'most beautiful country' - shirt = A+

Bush Fan #23


You're proud of voting in your high school's mock election?
You're wearing ear protection in your tough guy gun-toting picture?
D+.

Bush Fan #22


This guy seems pretty cool
keywestjeff@hotmail.com
A-

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Bush Fan #21


This pro-Bush message is brought to you by a constipated Ned Beatty wearing a blonde wig.

Bush Fan #20


Scary GTA Thugz 4 Bush

Bush Fan #19


"IF YOUR NOT WITH PRESIDENT BUSH YOU ARE NOT A GOOD AMERICAN...UNITED WE STAND DEVIDED WE FALL!"

B+
Pros: It's great when they write a lot because you get a better picture of a Bush fan's mental state. This one's especially good because it really sounds like it was written by either a second grader or an utter moron. The sentence quoted above is amazing not only because it's absolutely retarded, but because it contains "your" error number #3 (and 'devided' is great also)! Icing on the cake: picture of Cheney with a speech balloon coming out of his mouth that reads "Let's work together!"

Cons: Although having gruff Cheney say "Let's work together!" is pure comedy, it would have kinda been cool if he was saying something more along the lines of "Go fuck yourself!" In fact the entire post is too good-natured and not mean-spirited or threatening enough to get an A. Also, I would give anything to see a picture of the person who made this. I'm not sure if I should count the ones that don't include a picture of the submitter.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Bush Fan #18


A+.

Pros: Ugliest couple ever.
and the holstered gun.
(That makes him gun-toting Bush supporter #7 AND Asian gun-toting Bush supporter #2!)
(Also, she's fat Bush supporter #7. And together they qualify for the second ugly Bush couple of the day. But who's counting.)

Bush Fan #17


Party on Bush!
-Sincerely, morbidly obese women that drink diet Pepsi and the geeky guys that hang with them everywhere!

(A+ because she's holding her diet Pepsi like it's a prize)

Bush Fan #16


YOU WIN!

A+:
Fat slob waving a little flag in an attic apartment = pure comedy. Bonus: Are those Christmas lights, a blacklight poster of a dragon, and Kleenex and lube in the background?

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Bush Fan #15


A fat asian from PA with a gun (and morals)!
A+.

Bush Fan #14


What does Santa do during the rest of the year?
He's gun-toting Bush supporter #7!

Bush Fan #13


I'm not sorry, but my school photographer is

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Bush Fan #12


Another vigilante superhero wannabe.
Crazy gun nut #6.
Raises some interesting questions:
Will he really let us all stay with him when "the terrorist" invades?
Does anyone on this site know how to spell you're?
Should it be a requirement for gun ownership?

Bush Fan #11


Aw...a wannabe Navy Seal terrorist hunter...

"No terrorists in this fly over state, but I'm looking for them."

I bet he finds one working at the 7-11 and takes the law into his own hands.